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Frequently Asked questions

What are IRL Men’s Groups?

IRL Men’s Groups are relationally-focused Process Groups.  They are deep, intense, intimate groups where we get real with one another.  Our process groups are ongoing, and for people who are looking for a long-term (2-5 years) group experience. 

We also have one Support Group for men who are needing a little extra support.  Our Support Groups are a shorter time commitment, usually around 16 weeks. 

what is a process group, and how is it different from a support group?

As the names suggest, Support Groups tend to emphasize members offering support to each other, whereas Process Groups emphasize processing any and all feelings, needs, and experiences among the members.  Support Groups are more highly structured (e.g., check-ins, more equal sharing of time, structured activities) and tend not to focus on challenging feelings between members.  While Process Groups certainly involve support amongst members, we welcome any and all feelings, including ones that may lead to conflict, so we get a chance to practice how to navigate difficult experiences such as competitive feelings, disappointment, judgments, discomfort with receiving compliments, etc.  We find that some people are primarily looking for a supportive space, while others are drawn to the more free-wheeling environment of process groups.  Part of our intake process will be to help us assess which space is right for you.  

How frequently do you meet?

All groups meet on a weekly basis for 90 minutes.  We take breaks on some major national holidays, depending on how close the meeting is to the holiday.


How many members are in a group?


IRL Men’s Groups range between 5-9 members.  

Who joins our groups?

Our groups are for male-identified people (including cis, non-binary, and trans men) who are interested in developing skills that make deeper relationships possible in their lives. Are you gender non-binary but familiar with the male experience? Let us know, we'd love to explore if our groups are the right fit for you.

For Process Groups, we look for members with a level of emotional maturity (i.e., you are able to name your feelings and needs and are willing to take in challenging feedback in order to learn about themselves).  We generally find that men who have prior individual and/or group experience tend to get the most out of our groups.  

Most people who struggle with these fundamental emotional skills tend to benefit from our Support Groups.  



What days and times are the groups and Where do you meet?

In-Person Only Process Group- Tuesdays 5:30-7:00 pm in Berkeley

In-Person Only Support Group- Mondays 5:30-7:00 pm in Berkeley


Hybrid (Online and In-Person) Process Group- Wednesdays and Thursdays 5:15-6:45 pm 

Hybrid (Online and In Person) Support Group- Wednesdays 7:30-9:00 pm

Online Only East Asian American Process Group- Wednesdays 5:15-6:45 pm

Online Only Process Group- Tuesdays 5:05-6:45 pm and Thursdays 2:30-4:00 pm



Is there a cost to the group? How much does it cost?

There is a range of group costs depending on what group you join.


Groups that have a 3-day annual retreat or 4 days of annual retreats cost $140-160 per session (cost of the retreat is included in weekly fee).

Groups that don't have an annual retreat, cost $100-130 per 90-minute session.

We are committed to serving men who are a good fit for group.  Therefore, we have space for clients who need a fee reduction to participate sustainably on a weekly level.


Do you take insurance?

Although we are not paneled with any insurance companies as an in-network provider, we offer anyone with out-of-network coverage an invoice (called a superbill) with a few extra details that will help you to make an out-of-network claim with your insurance company.  Most insurance plans offer some form of out-of-network reimbursement, and we are happy to guide you through the process to make it easy.

Can I use my FSA/HSA account to pay for group?


Yes.  Many of our group members use FSA/HSA accounts to pay for group.


What is the process of getting started?

There are two steps to getting started: 1) a 15-minute initial phone consultation; 2) four online 50-minute individual meetings to help us get to know more about you and prepare you for group.  The cost of each intake session is $200-250, depending on which group you're interested in joining.

Once you have completed these steps, we will make a recommendation.  If we are confident that one of our groups will be a good fit for your needs, we will recommend a specific group for you to join, and help you decide on a start date.  In the case that our groups are not the right fit for you, we may also recommend either a different kind of group that more specifically meets your needs or another therapeutic format that would be more appropriate to your needs.  



What kind of commitment do you look for?


For Process Groups, we ask for an initial 16-week commitment from any new member.  This is enough time to settle into the group and see if it is going to be a good fit going forward.  Ultimately, we are looking for members who intend to continue past the first 16 sessions,  since the longer you stay, the deeper you go.  Once you are of a Process Group, your membership is ongoing until you decide to leave the group.  

Our Support Groups typically run for 16 weeks and have an end-point.  Any member who wants to continue on may sign up for the next round of Support Group.  There is often a short break between each 16-week series. 

how consistent is the membership in groups?


Our Process Groups are a closed format group, meaning that once the group is full, we do not add new members until an existing member leaves.  This allows the group to develop trust and depth with each other so that honest support and feedback become more possible over time.

Once a 16-week series of Support Group begins, no new members are added during the course of the series.  Everyone in the group will have an opportunity to sign up for the next series, so often these groups end up having a fair amount of continuity as well. 


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